Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Hobo Chef has a hobo blog!  Let's start with a very simple yet trendy dish...(above: Open Faced Wish Slider with a butter reduction and side salad)

Down-size Me:
The wish slider…
"Ever since that Sherlock dude made that movie about fat people, food keeps getting’ smaller…"
"Yeah,  yeah, I, uh,  noticed that too Butthead…"
Beavis & Butthead are in agreement with the hobo chef. Food is shrinking at an alarming rate. I consulted the lazy chef experts on this, that would be the Wikipedia, and it seems McNuggets have been around since before Supersize Me ever filled us with gluttonous guilt. It must be linked to an evil worldwide plot, probably by Walmart to make us all starving Third World slaves.

Don't get me wrong even without consulting the wiki I noticed this trend has been around for a while.  Dim sum, tapas, haute cuisine, and those stupid little rice balls and raw fish called sushi, so nothing new folks. It's the classic mind fuck, say it's cool and they will come/cum…

Snackers,  Smalls, McNuggets, McBites, what's next,  McCrumbs, McDingleberries,  McMolecules, McQuarks ?!   It's not like this is a health thing, it's a money thing – less food, more breading, same calories, more profit!  My favorite example of this is the slider. Gimme a break!  They make White Castle burgers look like quarter pounders.  Sure, you can get beef, pulled pork, baby duck confit, pecan chicken encrusted blah, blah, blah – but all you're really getting is ripped off!

To adapt to this Starve New World,  I've come up with the ultimate emperor’s new clothes.  A DIY, downsized meal - "the wish slider".   Even better, " the open faced wish slider (TM) ".   The wish slider is of course based on the wish sandwich (two pieces of bread and you wish you had some meat ) made famous in a song recorded by a group called The Chips in 1956 and again by the Blues Brothers, in 1973.

To make the basic wish slider take an empty 40 bottle and use it to roll out a piece of white bread. Take a very small glass, like a kid’s juice glass, and cut out two circles. Put one circle atop the other, and voila!  This doesn't mean you can’t go gourmet, put butter, squirt cheese, or any packet of your favorite condiment between the two pieces, but at this point you're moving into hors d'oeuvre territory!  Now let's take the next step, the open faced wish slider. It halves the calories as well as the cost which doubles the value. BTW, moms, your kids will love ‘em. Especially if you go the extra mile and put a little smear of blue Play Dough on each one.  Remember, unlike McNuggets, Play Dough is non-toxic!

1 comment:

  1. Wow, Hobo Chef! Simply delightful. The next time the boys come over for Canasta I'll make this for them. They will simply squeal with delight!